Making the baby was easy.

Growing the baby was easy.

Giving birth . . . that was tricky for a few of the kids.

The early years of cloth diapers, homemade baby food, educational toys, endless time outside was easy, tiring, but easy.

Tweens, teenagers, young adults--that's frigging hard.  Every day is a mix of loving too much, not enough, setting boundaries, crossing boundaries.  

I am a gentle, loving, kind, respectful, compassionate and curious mother.  Some days are harder than others and some days I'm a Rock Star and others not so much.  

Parenting is cumulative.

Parenting is unconditional love.

Parenting is the hardest thing I have ever done and the most rewarding.

I was born to be a mom.

Last night . . . at some point, I shut my phone off.  I have no memory of doing that.

I woke up at 5:36 with a dog and cat staring me down.  Why didn't they wake me up?  They always wake me up . . . 

My discovery was they get me up when the first alarm goes off.  They hear the little vibrating buzz and nuzzle and meow.  When they don't get that cue, they won't.  I found that to be kind of interesting.

Waking up late put me into a bit of a frazzle.  I felt discombobulated, it took me way to long to figure out who needed a lunch packed, who needed what for breakfast, I didn't get my outfit ready for the day . . . what just happened last night that all of these things didn't get done and has left me scrambling?

Then, we had the time wrong on when to drive to the final exam.  Luckily we did not miss it.  Drop off then a quick pick up.

I made coffee without putting the carafe back . . . the day after I mop the floor I have a coffee river flowing through my kitchen. 

Meanwhile, I nearly missed all of the Skyped in music lesson.  What else could go wrong?

I've checked and double checked where I need to be for the rest of the day and made a very short list of things that I must get done:  fold the clothes, walk the dog, make dinner, and write for 30 minutes without interuption, and helping my kid study for a Honors World History final.  

Life is busy, period.  I meet each moment, knowing it will be my last--of that moment.  I will never help him study for World History again, I will never make this particular dinner again, I will never fold this combination of clothes again, when I walk the dog--each step will be completely different than the previous step.  My writing may or may not be inspired. This is what it means to be mindful.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

That's grace.

To lift up when it is much easier to put down.

That's grace.

To not return unkindness with unkindess but instead meet it with love.

That's grace.

To listen when I'd rather talk.

That's grace.

To stand in their shoes.

That's grace.

Tonight I was as graceful as a gazelle.  It doesn't always work out this way.  Typically, more like a bull in a china shop.  

Tonight I needed to be full on graceful, breathing in calm and exhaling any stress that I felt.  Soon I was breathing in calm and exhaling love.  I'm sure that is what gazelles do.

"I'm a Zen Mommy right now."

My kids translate that as --I can only do one thing at a time and if I add one more thing my head may explode!  Or I'll forget something or someone.  Or I will just end up doing a job that is not my best.  My practice is to give 100% in everything I do.

When I am a Zen Mommy I am much better to meet the needs of my kids and the never-ending demands of the day.

Honestly, it doesn't come as first nature.  I need to be intentional and work at doing just one thing at a time.  I grew up multitasking.  Now that I'm "mature" I understand that it is best if I do just one thing.